Wednesday, February 21, 2007
"Sometimes a man has to lose his bearings to find his way" is how Best Life Magazine starts off their thorough article on navigating through middle life and ending up as a better person. Best Life asked experts to help define, diagnosis and manage male midlife crises while poking holes in some of the prevalent myths surrounding the condition. Here is an excerpt of what they came up with.
Recognizing you are having a Midlife Crisis:
Here's a symptom sampler: insomnia, fatigue, despair, morbidity, inability to concentrate, ruefulness about roads not taken, dread that life holds no more surprises, regrets, sharp longing for something (a gunmetal Porsche, a cigarette boat) or someone (the FedEx woman, Gina, whose smile is a promise of overnight delivery). Men in crisis often obsess about big questions, as in, "Does my life matter?"
Common Midlife Crisis Myths:
Beloved male Myth #1: Real men are strong and studly.
New Midlife Fact: We're sorta strong and sorta studly.
Beloved Male Myth #2: Real men are successful.
New Midlife Fact: Some men are more successful than others.
Beloved Male Myth #3: Professional success will make you happy.
New Midlife Fact: Don't bet on it.
Here are some of their tips for dealing with your Midlife Crisis:
1. Strive for new ambitions. Out with the phallic, ride-to-the-rescue, assert-your-will inclination of young manhood and in with prudence, patience, experience, wisdom, kindness, temperance, judiciousness, tenacity, perspective, coolness, and style.
2. Recognize that your "boyhood" is gone. "Yes, the boy is dead. And so are his dreams. It's important to admit they're gone, sit shivah for a while, and then move on."
3. Write a New Mission Statement. Invent new goals. Aspire to achievements in your backyard, small ambitions that are within your arms' reach.
4. Express Yourself, Anger and All. Speak your piece. Forgo an excess of politeness. Conflict is rarely catastrophic; it's just the sound of life happening.
5. Leave a Legacy. At midlife, it helps to start working on what you'll leave behind.
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Final Cautionary Note:
Don't throw money at midlife. The Ferrari won't help. Nor will that titanium driver with the huge sweet spot. There's no talismanic cure. "We deny our own sense of failure," says Levinson, "by using narcissistic pleasures as a device for reassurance." Put away the credit card; it'll just add double-digit interest rates to the other stressors. The only answer, wrote Jung, is to turn directly toward the approaching darkness and "find out what it wants from you."
Recognizing you are having a Midlife Crisis:
Here's a symptom sampler: insomnia, fatigue, despair, morbidity, inability to concentrate, ruefulness about roads not taken, dread that life holds no more surprises, regrets, sharp longing for something (a gunmetal Porsche, a cigarette boat) or someone (the FedEx woman, Gina, whose smile is a promise of overnight delivery). Men in crisis often obsess about big questions, as in, "Does my life matter?"
Common Midlife Crisis Myths:
Beloved male Myth #1: Real men are strong and studly.
New Midlife Fact: We're sorta strong and sorta studly.
Beloved Male Myth #2: Real men are successful.
New Midlife Fact: Some men are more successful than others.
Beloved Male Myth #3: Professional success will make you happy.
New Midlife Fact: Don't bet on it.
Here are some of their tips for dealing with your Midlife Crisis:
1. Strive for new ambitions. Out with the phallic, ride-to-the-rescue, assert-your-will inclination of young manhood and in with prudence, patience, experience, wisdom, kindness, temperance, judiciousness, tenacity, perspective, coolness, and style.
2. Recognize that your "boyhood" is gone. "Yes, the boy is dead. And so are his dreams. It's important to admit they're gone, sit shivah for a while, and then move on."
3. Write a New Mission Statement. Invent new goals. Aspire to achievements in your backyard, small ambitions that are within your arms' reach.
4. Express Yourself, Anger and All. Speak your piece. Forgo an excess of politeness. Conflict is rarely catastrophic; it's just the sound of life happening.
5. Leave a Legacy. At midlife, it helps to start working on what you'll leave behind.
Count On The Experiences... When you want to let your friend/ loved one know that he/ she is precious.
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Time To Catch Up On All The Fun ! Ask your friend/ loved one to relish life's adventure that he/ she missed out in the former days of life.
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Don't Give Up ! Ask your loved one/ friend to hold onto hope for he/ she will surely see brighter days again.
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Final Cautionary Note:
Don't throw money at midlife. The Ferrari won't help. Nor will that titanium driver with the huge sweet spot. There's no talismanic cure. "We deny our own sense of failure," says Levinson, "by using narcissistic pleasures as a device for reassurance." Put away the credit card; it'll just add double-digit interest rates to the other stressors. The only answer, wrote Jung, is to turn directly toward the approaching darkness and "find out what it wants from you."
posted by Robert at 5:22 AM | 
2 Comments:
At February 21, 2007 at 5:51 AM, 
Gerry
Loved your posts .. Most Often we fail to recognise Midlife Crises and try to pass it away as fatigue and stress .But A few people accept Mid-Life Crisis with dignity and courage and manage to handle the transition quite smoothly
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